If he were near as good a man as you say he is, he would cut you loose and encourage you to get on with your life,” said Carlton.“Hah! He has, more than once,” she said. The man’s mouth opened wide but no sound emanated therefrom.“What did you say?” he said.“He understands how hard it is to be alone. He has told me that if a man wanted to marry me it would be okay. But there is one codicil. Never would he tolerate any man, even if I married, to claim his fatherhood of Kari from him. Stepfather, uncle, no problem of any new man, okay. But he has made it plain that the one thing he could not stomach was losing his fatherhood status. And that as Kari’s ‘only father’, no shared fatherhood, not ever that. No wiggle room on that one requirement,” she said.“Oh my,” he said.“Huh?” said Lea.“Lea, that man, that wonderful man of yours just became a multi-millionaire,” he said. “And that among other things too numerous to mention.”“What?” she said.“Lea, I need you to marry me. I have looked. I. " I lied. "It isn't like it's another man is it?" I'm making coffee; we can talk about this later." She dismissed me by turning her back, as if I wasn't there."Jill, I need to know where I stand in this." The wheedling returned, replacing the anger with a feeling of desolation."Rob, don't let your own insecurities make more out of this than there really is, okay?" She had turned back to face me, reinforcing her words. There was no more to be said, or at least, no more she was going to allow to be said; the subject was closed until she deemed the time to be right.Faced with her silence and resolute determination not to talk about it any further, I grabbed my coat and left them to the peace of the kitchen.Why does it always rain when you want some thinking time in the park? I walked along side the canal, blaming myself for my inadequacies, perhaps I could have been a better lover, been more attentive and tried harder to give her kids. Yes a kid; that was the answer. If we had a kid,.
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